He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
