My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
