you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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