they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
