Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
