its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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