so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
why is half of my head shaved?
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