she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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