Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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