do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize