when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
