Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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