On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
