My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
