It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
