My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
