I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
