Everything about him screamed your future.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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