I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
