We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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