Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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