grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
