I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize