that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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