So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
