after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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