hotel room ftw
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
