I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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