We need to rekindle our bromance
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You're like the curious george of whores
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
