fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would fuck him just for his dog
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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