you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
