he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
