I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
