I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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