my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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