i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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