How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
