this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
