I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
why do cheetos always look like penises
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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