That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
