and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm just crazy horny about you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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