you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
