nut hugger
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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