you're like a bully in the Christmas story
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Do you remember whose house we're in?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
