mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
