3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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