He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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