I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she looked like the before picture.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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