my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
