hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize