Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
