Buhtt sex?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
