Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
