piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
