There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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