and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
