If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
